freedom lives in the night of all our sorrows.

.i wake up and immediately regret it.
eyes barely cracked open and already my mind is full.
Full of the bullshit that happened 5 years ago
& the bullshit from lastnight wrapped in a pretty baby pink ribbon;
how all, does this relate?
I'm frustrated; a l r e a d y.
I'm constantly at war with myself & its the only logical explanation for why
I wake up with pounding in my ears
& the thump behind my eyes.
With the frogs playing a distorted tune using my vocal cords
& the desert in my throat,"I don't wanna wake up"
I go to sleep to release the pain
Only for it to come jolting back as soon
As I open my eyes.
All my endeavors to numb the pain have failed me.
But I'm compulsive & driven.
A victim of addictive behavior
I can not stop until emptiness is dwelling in my house
& even then,
there's still a ton of bricks in every corner.